One Year Post-Transplant

My private home line came to life, and rang on the quiet night of 10 July 2024. It was 3 am. The call was from the Singapore General Hospital. The hospital staff told Sue that they had a matching liver for me. And that she needed to bring me to the hospital immediately within 1 hour.

The words from the hospital staff sent a jolt of adrenaline through us. At that point in time, I was languishing and teetering on the precipice of life. But, all of a sudden, I was presented with a gift of life. A second chance to live.

Just 2 months ago, in May 2024, my doctor, Dr Thinesh Lee had spoken to my wife, Sue, and my daughter, Debbie, that I cannot give up half way on my liver transplant workup. At that time, I requested the hospital to discharge me, and that, I no longer want to continue with the workup. Dr Thinesh told Sue & Debbie that if I don't finish my workup, I will not be in the queue for liver. That is, if I don't get a donor liver any time soon, I will not live beyond 2024.

While I was on my way to the hospital, my mind was a blur of racing thoughts. I could feel the weight of the situation pressing down on me. It was a contradictory mixture of hope and fear.

We arrived at the Hospital Emergency at about 4am. After a 45 minutes wait, the hospital told us that the deceased liver is not ready. We were told to go back home to get some sleep.

Later, at about 10am, the hospital called again, to ask me to go back to the hospital to prepare me for the surgery. I was swiftly wheeled away by a liver transplant coordinator, Ms Gaya, as soon as I arrived. The waiting was agonizing. But the surgical team has to ensure that the liver from the deceased person is disease-free and suitable for transplantation. They worked tirelessly. Each passing minute felt like an eternity to me. A stark reminder of the fragility of life and the immense responsibility entrusted to these medical professionals.

By evening,  Ms Gaya, together with another liver transplant coordinator, Ms Quah Yue Ling, were busily preparing me for the surgery. They become the only 2 faces that remained beside me throughout my 1-year post-transplant journey. They saw with their eyes how I journeyed from being gravely ill and bedridden, with a dementia-like mind and languishing frame, to almost full recovery today.

Finally, I was wheeled into the operating room at around 8pm on 11 July for my liver transplant. If I remember correctly, the liver transplantation took a lot more than 10 hours. The operation was a success. Sue was informed of the success at about 8am on 12 July 2025.

One year later, reflecting on that life-altering night and the subsequent surgery, I was filled with an overwhelming sense of awe and thankfulness. In the recent 2 months, I started to recall the events on that momentous day. I could remember vividly my emotions then and everything that happened on 11 July. All these emotions and memories were buried deep somewhere in my mind, and I have not shared them with any single person.

The 1-year post-transplant journey has been very challenging. I was saddled with agonizing pain, immobility, a loss of memory, frustration, and the many side effects from the medications. I was languishing and in a deep slump.

The days that followed were filled with medications, lab tests, scans, emergencies, physical rehabilitation, and reviews by my liver team, endocrinologist, and kidney specialist. And throughout the whole year, I have quietly done plenty of emotional processing on my part. For the first 8 months (from 11 July 2024 to early April 2025), I was immobile, and my physical & mental states were completely off. But, by mid April  to end April, I could feel that my physical and mental states started surging back to power. I started to recall things, events, the doctors, nurses, and the people in my life. I started to walk without my wheelchair and walking stick. I no longer need my diapers. I can dress myself and go for my medical appointments on my own by public transport. All these become possible because of the dedication of the medical team from SGH. Now, I live each day feeling grateful and filled with gratitude to all the medical staff and my family. I now live with renewed purpose, cherishing every moment and striving to make the most of the precious gift I have been given.

On 12 June, I have my 1-year post-transplant appointment with my liver team. This is a crucial milestone for all transplant patients. The original appointed date was supposed to be 10 July. But because my blood & urine tests done on 2 June have shown some severe complications to my damaged kidney, the liver team decided to advance my appointment date earlier out of urgency.

To me, the appointment, which is to review my condition, was like a get-together. Consultant Dr Chanda Ho, Transplant Coordinator Ms Quah Yue Ling, Pharmacist Ms Yee Mei Ling, and a lady doctor whom I have seen many times but am unable to remember her name, were at the review. They were all very astonished, happy and excited to see that I have recovered very well - on my own without Sue's help, without the wheelchair or walking stick, and looking good.

In addition, I am also very grateful to the family of the deceased whose liver now lives in me. I am not allow to know who the deceased is nor their family, but my gratitude to them goes beyond words.

Slowing Down.

At some point in our lives, some of us may decide and opt to go slow for some reasons. It can be because of the relentless pace of life, the hectic rush from one thing to another, and the perpetual chasing of the next deadlines. Or even the stress and anxiety that had befallen us because of something that had happened in our life. All these may have taken a toll on a person's health or even on their relationships. So they consciously decide to slow down. It was an "intentional" shift. I recalled, 25 years ago, I opted to go slow by resigning from my pensionable service at age 44. I was a head of operations during the 911 incident. After the incident, I was completely drained and tired, and consciously decided to resign. I intentionally opted to slow down. The slowing down is not a physical one, but a slow down or shift from my hectic work life.

But, in the present time, for someone like me, seriously ill & infirm or for those who have infirmity, slowing down is a default, set in place by the body, involuntary. This default was set without my will or conscious control. It is "unintentional." For me, the moment I awoke from my deep slump in end April 2025,  which is 2 months ago, my life has gone into a slow down mode. Physical slow down.

While I have suddenly recovered very well physically, my actions were slow and deliberate. It is a slowing down.

- Now I walk very slowly, feeling every steps of the ground and surface, unhurried. It allows me to breathe slowly. And I could smell the air. I could even feel the wind on the surface of my skin.

- Now I eat very slowly. I begin to enjoy the aroma of my morning cup of Milo or Horlicks. My daily simple breakfast of bread, and meals of rolled oats and plain porridge are now a joy.

- I have in my slowness developed a greater awareness of my surroundings and feelings.

- I feel less anxious and this have led me to a sense of calm and peace.

- slowing down have made me to become more appreciative of small moments in life.

- I can now focus much better on the things I want to do and to achieve.

- slowing down makes me reflect on my blessings and cultivates in me an attitude of gratitude.

- slowing down allows me to embrace a more intentional and meaningful way of living. And, makes me prioritise my relationship with God and my loved ones.

- I also realise that slowing down allows me time to slowly soak in the wisdom of life.

Jeremiah 2:25

"Slow down. Take a deep breath. What is the hurry."

This verse challenges us to be mindful of our pace and to  consider the consequences of rushing. And be mindful of the present moment.

I Remember, Doctor Samantha Koh.

A pink rose for Doctor Samantha Koh, to show my profound gratitude to her.

On the morning of 4th June, I received a call from a Doctor Samantha. She called my private home line. I picked up the phone and heard a somewhat familiar voice introducing, "Hello, I am Doctor Samantha. Are you Mr. Ding? Can you remember me?" The name rings a bell in my embedded memory. It was the 'only' doctor's name that appeared in a little notebook I kept beside my bed when I was hospitalised. That period was before my liver transplant on the 11th of July, 2024.

During the period before and after my transplant, Sue told me that I had a loss of memory. Some doctors suspected I had dementia. So, Sue and Debbie kept a little notebook on my bedside to remind me of my daily things to do and to give me words of encouragement. Also, I cannot remember all the happenings or recall the name of the doctors and staff who had attended to me.

In Daniel 6:22 - "And my God sent his angel and shut the lions mouths, so that they did not hurt me."

Later that day, I told Sue and Debbie about the call from Doctor Samantha. Both of them vividly remember Doctor Samantha Koh. Among the many doctors, specialists, and surgeons who had seen me, Sue and Debbie can only remember one name, "Doctor Samantha Koh." She was the "only" doctor who had interacted directly and reached out to Sue & Debbie during that period when they were deeply distressed and traumatised by my languishing condition and loss of memory.

Today, Doctor Samantha Koh can still remember me. And she called to check on me even though 11 months had past. She is now stationed at Sengkang General Hospital.

Here is my dedication to Doctor Samantha Koh:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When I languished in pain with my failing liver,

Every moment is like a tide retreating from the shore.

But you were there to tend the fractured light of the light house,

Creating a path through the darkness,

To keep me steering on the right course.

You became the compass my wife and daughter could clutch,

And now my adopted liver hums on borrowed time.

Thank you for helping me and my family to see the daybreak again."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since the end of April, when I started to wake up from my deep slump, I feel extremely grateful to the many people who have never abandoned me or given up hope on me. I feel a very deep sense of gratitude to them, and one of them is Doctor Samantha Koh.

Afternote : There was another person whom I have very deep memory and impression of is "Ann Chow." She was there all the time after my liver transplant. She was there every morning with the team of doctors, on their daily rounds. In my unwell state, I remembered she often whispered words of comfort and encouragement in my ear. I feel a deep sense of gratitude towards her.

Daybreak

Daybreak represents new beginnings and hope. It is a return of light after a period of darkness. For me, it is a time for quiet reflections and deep thoughts. It is my favourite time of the day and a time of clarity. It is also my favourite time for jogging when the rest of the world is asleep.

Daybreak along the way from Kota Bahru to Butterworth.

Daybreak along Penang Bridge

Daybreak at Lake Kenyir.

Daybreak at Batu Feringhi.

Daybreak at Changi Point. 

Daybreak at East Coast Park.

Daybreak at Sengkang Wetland.

Daybreak—with its burst of gorgeous and vibrant colours, is truly a never-ending gift from God to us. It is a showcase of the beauty of nature. Unconsciously, I have been seeking the companionship of daybreak since my early adulthood until now. In the past, daybreak brought with it the peace I needed, the time for me to reflect, and the energy for me to start my day. Now, daybreak gives me strength, comfort, and courage to move on, despite the troubling pain inflicted by my poor health and the disturbing side effects from my daily medications.