On My Own - A 'First'

With summertime approaching, trees are starting to show their vitality and growth.

Preface: This journal entry was made on the 2nd of May 2025. It was a time when I was beginning to feel alive after a long, deep slumber. I was in high spirits and looking forward to returning to a normal life. At that time, I set myself several milestones, or rather, things that I hope to do. After 5 months, I look back to see where I am now.

• “You never know what you can do until you try, and very few try unless they have to.” — C.S. Lewis 

Actual journal entry:

Today is 2nd of May, 2025. For the very first time in a long while, I went for my medical appointment "On My Own”. I challenged myself by travelling on public transport (I was not familiar with public transport as I had been driving since the day when I was in the University). Sue was worried, and protested repeatedly. She insisted that she must accompany me, or if not, then I should take a cab there. But I was determined to do it "On My Own." I strongly feel that there must be "A First."

I started my journey at 6:30am. The bus took me through Telok Kurau, Joo Chiat, Tanjong Katong, and Old Airport. The journey brought back plenty of fond memories. Sue and I used to stay at Telok Kurau and Amber Gardens, and we are very familiar with these areas. It was like walking down memory lane.

I arrived at the Singapore General Hospital at 8.20am. The whole journey took one hour and 50 minutes.

It's really no big deal for others. But for me, at this stage and condition, it's really a big deal. 

Having done it "On My Own—A First," I now set my sight further...

• I hope to be able to go back to church. Pastor Amy and Pastor Calvin have been visiting me regularly, praying for me, and having holy communion with me when I was languishing at home and in my hospital bed.

(Update: Unfortunately, I am still unable to go back to the church because of mobility and physical issues. Furthermore, because of my morning medications, and my inability to sleep at night, I am normally in a drowsy state between 9 am to 11.30 am.)

• I wish to travel to Malaysia to visit my mother, who is living in Klang. It has been 10 years since I last visited her. And, lately, there is this unfamthomable emotion in me, urging me to see her. I also hope to see my sister Sau Ching and Adeline.

(Update: Sadly, my physical condition has not recovered sufficiently for me to be able to travel to Klang. I have figured out and planned my transportation mode, be it by air or coach, the duration will be too long for my body to cope. But I am still determined to visit my mother within the next 2 months. Time and tide wait for no man.)

• I want to invite my best friend, Richard, to my house for a meetup. I have known him since I was 9 years old. We lost contact after our secondary school, but managed to get in touch with each other again a few years ago. Since then, he has been there praying for me, encouraging and motivating me.

(Update: Alas. I am still not in the condition to invite him to my house. It seems that, I am unlikely to fulfill this wish of mine any time soon.)

# I hope to be able to start jogging again. I used to jog very often after I retired in 2001. I love jogging, especially early in the morning, during daybreak, when the whole world is still asleep. There is also the priviledge and bonus of watching the beautiful, but solemn sunrise. Jogging gives me tremendous amount of peace, as well as an unexplainable feeling that it's a new day, and a new beginning. It's the best time for me to reflect on issues and life. My target is to tone up my body in the next 5 months, and to begin jogging in October.

(Update: October has arrived. Unfortunately, I am still in no condition to even go for walk in the park. My wish and desire to jog again may not be able to come true. Up till now, I am still struggling with my walk from one point to another. I have not even started my morning walk which my endocrinologist has asked me to. For now, I can only look forlongly to the day when I can start jogging again.)

# I wish to travel with Sue again. Maybe, a long cruise. I can still remember those days when we often go for drive trips. Once, we did a 5-day drive trip to every part of West Malaysia. From Singapore Tuas 2nd link, we drove to Johor, then to the east coast of Malaysia, passing by Pahang, Terengganu, and Kelantan (up to the Thai Border). From Kelantan, we drove westwards, passing through Perak, Kedah, and to Butterworth. At Butterworth, we boarded a ferry, together with our car to Penang. We stayed in Penang for 2 days. On our return journey, we set off from our hotel at 8am. We crossed the Penang Bridge, driving along the NE highway, passing through Perak, Selangor, Negri Sembilan, Johor, and to the Tuas 2nd link in Singapore by 5pm. It was our most exciting and memorable drive trip. And one of our most memorable time in life.

(Update: Sadly, right now, in my current condition, travelling seems to be out of the question for a long time to come. The logistics involved - like food, medications routine (drowsy period after medication), my body ability to cope, and in the event of emergencies (which I have many) would be unattainable.)

At this point, my recovery tells me that I am very resilient. On my way back from hospital today, I saw bushes of Mexican Petunia with its beautiful bloom of trumpet-shaped blue flowers. The Mexican Petunia is known to be a very resilient plant and has always been a symbol of Resilience to me. It was a wonderful sight, and a timely reminder of being resilient.